Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Thank You For Smoking

I live in a non-smoking building. You would think that would mean that no one would smoke inside the building. You would think.

Evidently, most tenants who do smoke seem to forget the go-outside-in-the-pouring-rain-to-smoke rule. Evidently, some tenants have a note from their doctor allowing them to smoke in their non-smoking apartments. Despite the fact that smoking is bad for your health and doctors know that, doctors scribble their names on slips of paper to allow a lot of people in my building to smoke indoors--smoke cigarettes, oh, and my favorite, pot. Evidently, not smoking in your non-smoking apartment may cause you to go off your meds and do bad things. Or at least weird things.

I walked into the Recycling & Trash Room the other day to, you know, recycle and trash something, and as soon as I walked in, the woman who was already trashing something turned toward me suddenly and snapped, "Oh, what now?" She dropped her bag of trash, which could easily have been a bag of dog doo or her own doo for all I know, and ran out the door. Not long after, she returned to retrieve her bag of doo doo and said, "Hup! Wuh? Wull---uhhh. Tsk. Kuh. Mm." Then ran out the door. I noticed her a little while later walking up and down the hallway, back and forth. Eventually, she got on the elevator. She got off the elevator. No, on. No, off. Mr. Karin said gently like a good MSW, "She's attending to other voices and may be off her meds. Might wanna give her a little extra space." Ya think?

Evidently, I have discovered, I live on the smoking floor. (What does that mean about me?) The three apartments closest to mine are occupied by people I have yet to see, but whom I often hear yelling at the walls and whose sleep patterns I have identified by their chain-smoking habits. Up at 7:30am. To bed around 12:30am. Smoking like a chimney every waking hour.

I love this. No really, I do. I mean, now I don't have to actually take up smoking. I figure I'm getting in at least a pack a week in second-hand smoke. Saves me money. Don't have to buy cigarettes for myself. This is great.

8 comments:

Emidor said...

My favorite "please don't smoke" sign:

"If I see you smoking I'll assume you are on fire and take appropriate measures."

Tereza said...

But they just said on Fox channel that there is no scientific basis for the claim that second-hand smoke is harmful. True story. I sware.

gl. said...

my friend lives in a non-smoking building too, and he kept complaining about his neighbors. eventually, they got evicted.

Karin said...

emidor(hi Dave!): I love that one, too.

tereza: If the Fox channel says it's true, then it must be. Although, I'm sure the "studies" that were done were probably funded by the tobacco industry.

gl: I have complained. The very nice managers are aware of the problem (although I doubt they've actually come up to my floor during prime smoking hours to get a wiff for themselves) and have told me that they're in the process of getting $500 air filters/purifiers for each of the designated smokers in the building.

Michael5000 said...

Maybe I'll start attending to other voices. Sounds diverting.

Anonymous said...

I am not a smoker, but the smell I can understand but getting cancer from second hand smoke is BS. The diesel trucks, jets,microwaved food, cell phones and wifi are all alot worse for your health. Cigarettes have been around for hundreds of years, these other things about a half a century. Long term effects on these other things have yet to be shown

Tereza said...

Fox was here.

kitkat said...

My question is: doesn't the apartment complex screen the people who want to live there? I mean, it would seem that if they wanted a non-smoking building, they would try to make sure that smokers didn't move in in the first place...

So, what's worse: crazy smokers and their second-hand smoke or the cooked mothball smell from your previous place?